Carrer d'Aribau 161, 08036 - Barcelona
Carrer d'Aribau 161, 08036 - Barcelona

Lawyer and healthcare specialist in surrogacy since 2015

In a surrogacy process, can the surrogate mother keep my baby?

One of the first questions that clients usually ask before starting a surrogacy process is whether the surrogate can refuse to give the baby to the commissioning parents. This question arises from the great misinformation that exists on the subject and the erroneous belief that surrogates are mothers who give up their children.

The truth is that only a woman who has previously been a mother can participate in another family’s project of becoming parents. In this way, the pregnant woman knows, knows and understands perfectly the emotional implications of carrying out a pregnancy and postpartum, as well as the suffering of families who cannot procreate, either for medical reasons or for reasons of sexual orientation.

As long as surrogacy processes are carried out in countries with clear legislation in this regard, there is no risk that the surrogate mother may decide not to give the baby to its real parents, being the intended parents. Moreover, the surrogate mother’s concern about the future newborn and the possibility that the intended parents will not appear is usually greater than that of the intended parents.

The women who decide to become pregnant are women who have undergone exhaustive psychological examinations and who have already formed their own family nucleus. They feel that their families are already complete and voluntarily decide to help other families in need.

Personally, I would describe all the pregnant women I have met as strong-willed, determined, empathetic, resolute, responsible and with a very solid conception of family, and that is why, when the time comes, they decide to help other families.

The relationship between the pregnant woman and the intended parents is a relationship of full trust that lasts a lifetime and not only during pregnancy or postpartum, as is erroneously believed. They are not vessels, nor do they rent their wombs, but are fully capable women who decide voluntarily about their lives and that of their families.

In conclusion, and referring to the question of this post, pregnant women do not "give their children away", since they do not consider themselves mothers at any time and, therefore, there is no risk in determining who the real parents of the newborn are. If a pregnant woman wanted to enlarge her family, she would simply do so without having to undergo a medical fertility procedure with the genetic material of another family. However, we will always have to observe that the processes are carried out in countries with all the guarantees and a solid legislation on the matter.

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